Thursday, December 31, 2015

2016 (and a look back)

I just reread last year's post and am a little surprised by how different this year ended up being compared to what I expected. It was and wasn't the uncomfortably stagnant year I predicted - I lost my job and started a new one (with a good bit of downtime in between), but I also built up high hopes that we would figure out a move out of SF this year and there was almost no progress on that front.

This year also felt like the return of some of the anxiety issues I had marked as "dealt with" last year (ha - as if it were that easy). If nothing else, it's a reminder that most things in life aren't quite that easy to put a tidy checkmark next to.

Going into 2015, I wanted to cook and bake more, make my home a prettier place to be, vacation, see some chilly weather, and get better at taking photos. I ended up picking up sewing in place of spending more time in the kitchen - not a bad tradeoff, and I'm really pleased with how far I've come, given that I barely knew how to sew a year ago. (Side note: I really want to photograph and blog the million things I've made and not shared.) I totally dropped the ball on the house goal, but I'm feeling pretty checked out here and am not sure it even makes sense to give this rental some love if I'm going to resent it the whole time. We'll see. In addition to knocking off vacation and winter in one go, I also took two trips to Portland and a work trip to New England - not bad! And I finally started spending a bit more energy on learning to take better photos with my real camera (and subscribed to Lightroom + Photoshop earlier this month, totally forgetting I'd mentioned that last year). As a bonus, I started a little photo a day project on my instagram, which is encouraging me to photograph more of my daily life. Only a few months in, I'm already enjoying looking back at the snapshot of my life.

In addition to hitting a few of my predicted goals, I started doing yoga and meditation - the former I'm really excited about and hope to really keep up and improve going forward, and the latter seems to be good for sleep, even if it hasn't totally changed my life.

Of course life is not measured by how many of last year's boxes you tick, but looking back like this helps when I'm starting to feel "stuck" (a feeling I have more often than I should).

2016! The year I turn 30, and I'm totally one of those people who miiiight freak out a little bit about that. Here are my hopes and dreams for the year!

  1. Face, don't avoid, the anxiety that comes up in my daily life. This includes certain aspects of work and relationships, as well as stuff like my kinda sorta hoarding tendencies (I have so much trouble throwing things out!). I want to make serious progress facing and overcoming this in many ways, while keeping in mind that there is no magical goalpost to arrive at.
  2. Make progress on moving - somewhere. This one is not totally in my control, but I'm hoping to make some progress here (with Tim's help). I'd still like to gtfo of California at some point, but Tim and I have also started talking about moving to a bigger place within San Francisco if he needs to stay here for work. Regardless, I'm hoping we can move to a home I'm more excited about, or at least come up with a concrete plan, this year!
  3. Be a little less antisocial. I am 100% an introvert and will always need a lot of alone time. But lately I've started pulling away from people (basically... all of them) more than is healthy even for me. Groups may not be my thing, but I can make more of an effort to see or even just talk online with the people I like the most. And I think if I do, it'll help me feel less isolated and maybe make #1 a bit easier to cope with.
  4. Keep doing things I love. Sewing, yoga, hanging with my little family, making food, continuing to improve my photography skills... Get better at but mostly just enjoy the stuff that doesn't stress me out.

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