2016 (and a look back)

I just reread last year's post and am a little surprised by how different this year ended up being compared to what I expected. It was and wasn't the uncomfortably stagnant year I predicted - I lost my job and started a new one (with a good bit of downtime in between), but I also built up high hopes that we would figure out a move out of SF this year and there was almost no progress on that front.

This year also felt like the return of some of the anxiety issues I had marked as "dealt with" last year (ha - as if it were that easy). If nothing else, it's a reminder that most things in life aren't quite that easy to put a tidy checkmark next to.

Going into 2015, I wanted to cook and bake more, make my home a prettier place to be, vacation, see some chilly weather, and get better at taking photos. I ended up picking up sewing in place of spending more time in the kitchen - not a bad tradeoff, and I'm really pleased with how far I've come, given that I barely knew how to sew a year ago. (Side note: I really want to photograph and blog the million things I've made and not shared.) I totally dropped the ball on the house goal, but I'm feeling pretty checked out here and am not sure it even makes sense to give this rental some love if I'm going to resent it the whole time. We'll see. In addition to knocking off vacation and winter in one go, I also took two trips to Portland and a work trip to New England - not bad! And I finally started spending a bit more energy on learning to take better photos with my real camera (and subscribed to Lightroom + Photoshop earlier this month, totally forgetting I'd mentioned that last year). As a bonus, I started a little photo a day project on my instagram, which is encouraging me to photograph more of my daily life. Only a few months in, I'm already enjoying looking back at the snapshot of my life.

In addition to hitting a few of my predicted goals, I started doing yoga and meditation - the former I'm really excited about and hope to really keep up and improve going forward, and the latter seems to be good for sleep, even if it hasn't totally changed my life.

Of course life is not measured by how many of last year's boxes you tick, but looking back like this helps when I'm starting to feel "stuck" (a feeling I have more often than I should).

2016! The year I turn 30, and I'm totally one of those people who miiiight freak out a little bit about that. Here are my hopes and dreams for the year!

1. Face, don't avoid, the anxiety that comes up in my daily life. This includes certain aspects of work and relationships, as well as stuff like my kinda sorta hoarding tendencies (I have so much trouble throwing things out!). I want to make serious progress facing and overcoming this in many ways, while keeping in mind that there is no magical goalpost to arrive at.
2. Make progress on moving - somewhere. This one is not totally in my control, but I'm hoping to make some progress here (with Tim's help). I'd still like to gtfo of California at some point, but Tim and I have also started talking about moving to a bigger place within San Francisco if he needs to stay here for work. Regardless, I'm hoping we can move to a home I'm more excited about, or at least come up with a concrete plan, this year!
3. Be a little less antisocial. I am 100% an introvert and will always need a lot of alone time. But lately I've started pulling away from people (basically... all of them) more than is healthy even for me. Groups may not be my thing, but I can make more of an effort to see or even just talk online with the people I like the most. And I think if I do, it'll help me feel less isolated and maybe make #1 a bit easier to cope with.
4. Keep doing things I love. Sewing, yoga, hanging with my little family, making food, continuing to improve my photography skills... Get better at but mostly just enjoy the stuff that doesn't stress me out.

Autumn 2015 photo summary

I'm currently stuck in a hurricane-strength storm in Iceland (???) and it seems like as good a time as any to go back through my October/November and share here. I already posted about our Portland trip the last week of October, but there's plenty more from those months that I haven't shared here.

Birthday: homemade dress + homemade cake.

I bought this fantastic real spider web necklace from a Portland friend via instagram!

The annual October corgi beach day happened. Tumbles had a blast and wore herself out, and we had fun watching her too.

I sewed some stuff - almost all stretch! Which I'm getting the hang of, but it's a nice change to go back to regular woven fabrics sometimes.

... including matching skirts for me and Tum. These were going to be our Halloween outfits, but it was a rainy Portland day and we stayed inside in our PJs and birthday suit, respectively.

I got dressed up to celebrate my pal Jessica's engagement at the most instagrammable flower shop.

I hosted an extremely late and very small Oktoberfest party, and Tumbles made sure to bring her photogenic side(s) for sure.

 

And then, later that same week, Thanksgiving. I planned extremely last minute and celebrated with only Tim (and Tumbles), but I'm pretty happy with how it all turned out.

On the menu: the Pioneer Woman's mashed potatoes, a childhood recipe for sweet potato casserole (it's a photo of a recipe card in evernote), Smitten Kitchen's pretzel parker house rolls, and coffee crusted beef tenderloin from the Crepes of Wrath. Not bad for a "low key" Thanksgiving, eh?

 

Thanksgiving beef, because I've never been a fan of poultry as a holiday meat.

Oh and dessert. What the what? I took Joy the Baker's Toasted Marshmallow Ice Cream Cake and made it even more obnoxious (wonderful) with some marshmallowy 7 minute frosting swirled through and spread on top between the ice cream and marshmallows. So into it.

And just before my early December trip to Iceland, I met up with a former coworker, Kate, and had a lovely quick drink before rushing home to pack. She and Tumbles are just adorable together.

And finally.. saying goodbye to this pup before a week away in Iceland. I miss her tons but I think she's having a great time at her boarding place (also her daycare, so she knows and loves them). See you soon, Tum!

 

[Edit: These posts feel a little silly - like a duplicate of things from social media (which are already duplicated across platforms sometimes... sigh). Not really sure where I want to go with this blog. I'm going to think about it and I guess do what I feel like in the meantime.]

I'm hoping to be back here before too long with Iceland photos and favorites from Reykjavik, and I have high hopes that I'll actually learn to edit photos a bit before that (ha), so we'll see how this goes!

29.

This birthday feels big. The last year of my 20s. In some ways I'm ready - the 20s are a year of growth and change and making mistakes, and it seems like many people go into their 30s in a much more solid place. It's just a number, but somehow it feels symbolic - I want to be generally content with where my life is when I get there, ready for the next stage.

The last year and a half have been really good for me. I've found exercise I love and feel really strong and healthy, got Tumbles and have settled into a routine with her, and I've learned to stop letting anxiety sabotage me at work and finally feel like I am building the career I've wanted for some time. Now that a bunch of stressors have settled down, I'm finding more time to do hobbies outside of just baking. I've even started being able to keep plants alive! This is all very new. I went into 28 just getting started on a lot of things - I'd recently gotten super into ballet, I had just (finally) shown myself that I could accomplish things at work, and Tumbles was still a pup and took a lot of work (in fact, my birthday was one of my most stressful, sleepless, and all around emotional days last year). I feel like I'm on much more solid ground now.

Things are good.

But I still feel restless lately, although I appreciate that this restlessness comes in large part from a place of comfort in my life. I've been in the bay area for six years, and it's wearing on me. I moved here for work and because I knew a few people (hi, Tim), but I never saw myself staying long term. I've always missed seasons, particularly the crisp air and bright leaves of fall and the cold of winter. San Francisco has been changing, before and since I moved here. Rents have climbed almost as fast as my cushy tech income, people not in tech can barely live here anymore, and the city itself just feels exhausting lately for an introvert like me. I've enjoyed most of my time here, but I'm ready for something quieter, where I can buy a house and have my own backyard for Tumbles and settle into a less hectic lifestyle.

I'm hoping the next year will bring some of these changes, but it's out of my control in large part - the downside of settling down with another person - so time will tell! Either way, I hope I can continue to enjoy what I have and focus on the many, many good things in my life right now.

Here's to 29.

2014: The final post

Oof, I took a lot of photos last year. This is the final portion, October through December. If you missed it, you can see parts one (January through June) and two (July through September).

October

I started the month with probably my roughest birthday ever (a combo of being super sleep deprived, up all night worrying about a sick pup, and work stress). I basically spent the day crying. It happens. This was the month that Tumbles began to become self-sufficient enough for me to do some normal hobbies again (eg. cook dinner occasionally!). Also, there was a corgi beach meetup and Halloween!

 

Tumbles met her half brother, Linus!

A post-beach bath :(

(We dressed up as each other.)

November

I took my first trip home to Tennessee (where I grew up) in three years. I got to bring Tumbles along! Then suddenly it was the holiday season.

Ready for her first flight!

Chilly layover.

 

Meeting my family's dogs for the first time.

 

Tumbles saw her first fall and (sort of) winter in Tennessee.

 

Visiting the library where my mom works.

She loved snow.

Tum + my sister Hannah.

 

YESSSS. Pulled pork sandwich and sweet tea.

Pretty east Tennessee.

Reunited post-travel.

 

Post-Thanksgiving dinner food comas.

I bought myself a fancy new raincoat just in time for some major rainy weather (I'm still in love with it).

 

I started getting pumped for Christmas as soon as Thanksgiving ended.

December

Corgi playdates. Parties and get-togethers and houseguests and holidays. I sent my first ever holiday cards! Also lots of food.

(the card is from minted - it was a pretty painless first Christmas card experience! highly recommend.)

 

(these are all for Tumbles)

New years eve:

 

The good stuff.

midnight!

And, that's it! I should probably do one of these every month (or week) if I want to keep this up. Major props if you made it through all that.